Let's talk about...getting frustrated!

I'm about to confess something that maybe none of my close friends or family know's  about me. Sometimes I get very angry, and extremely sensitive about FND. 

There. I said it. 

My husband knows this because often times, it's him that I direct my feelings to. What's worse is that I do it when I know he's trying to be helpful.  Let me describe a hypothetical situation to you: You see someone in a wheelchair struggling to move up a steep hill. So, without hesitation, you walk over, grab the handles and proceed to push them up the hill. In your mind, you've simply helped someone with a difficult task. But there's a problem. They didn't ask for that help. In fact, they're pretty pissed off that you assumed that they wanted your help in the first place. 

I am the person in the metaphorical wheelchair. My hubby is the guy helping me up the hill.  And yes, I get pretty pissed off sometimes when he tries to help me. 

You need to understand  a few things about me; first and foremost I don't like "not being able" to do something. Ever. I don't take "no" for an answer (especially from FND) and I always like to think of solutions, rather than focus on problems.  So when it comes to FND, I often struggle to get things done. I've had to learn how to think  "outside the box," and come up with adaptations when I'm stuck.  I get frustrated with myself, and sometimes I get angry about having FND.  Despite  those feelings, I always continue to try to do those things I can't.

I realize that on several of my blogs I've said, "ask for help, don't be afraid to reach out for help...blah blah blah." I still stand by that advice. Help is great, when you ask for it. And I do ask. Often! My hubby makes every effort to be my support, and I am very lucky to have it. He drives when I can't, he helps by walking the dogs sometimes, opening jars when my hands are weak, and lets me lean on him. when I'm unsteady.  Problems only arise when the assumption is made that I need help when I don't ask for it. If my husband takes over a task I'm working through, without asking me if I actually need the help,  he unknowingly undermines my attempts to adapt.  It's not negative or disrespectful for him to help out. In fact it's wonderful.  My issue, is that it's extremely important for me to TRY and do difficult things on my own as often as I can.  When I'm frustrated by the symptoms of FND, working my way through problems is how I've learned new ways to modify my life. I need to try, I need to muddle through, and I need to fail. Failure offers me the opportunity to try again, in a different way, until I find a solution that works. 

 So if you have FND, please keep trying to do those things you think you can't. Even if you fail, make the effort. One day that hard headedness may pay off. 

If you love someone with FND, please ask them if they need help before you lend that hand. They just may be looking for a way to adapt. 

And since my husband hasn't filed for divorce yet, I guess that means he's ok with me getting angry sometimes. I'd bet he gets pretty angry at FND too.